My kids really do come first

Since having my baby, I've been more than a little stressed. And to make just how stressed I am even harder or let me know, my MS has decided to have some fun.

Let me start by saying that after my husband and I had our first child, I said I would stop having kids when I turned 30 and made a joke with my obgyn about seeing how many I could have until then. Little did I know I would be pregnant every year until I had my newest. Yes, there's been a ton of drama. Yes, I miscarried on one of those pregnancy. And yes, I miss how fit and thin I was when I was in college, but oh my goodness do I love my husband and kids. The most fun part, for me, about being pregnant, was that I didn't have to do my shot for MS. 

I'm now 9 weeks postpartum and really thinking I should see my neurologist to get back on some form of meds for my MS because of all the fun it's been having. Some days, I notice one or both arms have been numb. Some days, it's a foot, ankle, or even a full leg. But none of the issues I've been having with my MS and pushing through/ignoring them would have ever made me believe that I was anywhere near as strong or in control of my emotions as I proved I was yesterday. 

For the past week or so, all 4 kids have had cold/allergy symptoms. Day before yesterday, we let my oldest stay the night at his grandparents house. Then, yesterday morning, my husband and I decided to try and sleep in. We woke up at 4 to change and feed the baby and went back to sleep. I woke up again around 8 and only heard 1 out of 3 awake, and he was just playing in his room, so I thought since we were the only ones awake, I might be able to sleep a little more. 

I didn't wake up again until 9:30 and then decided, even though it sounded like everyone was asleep, that we needed to get up and get the weekend started. When I opened the door to my daughter's room, she just snored at me. So I thought it would be fun to make a short video of her snoring for when she's older. So I did and then thought I'd get a twofer and do the same to my second oldest who was still being quiet in the next room. 

I walked in, and saw him laying on the bean bag in his room and started to make the video. It's when I got closer and he still wasn't moving, even though I was talking to him, and his eyes were open, that I stopped making the video and yelled for my husband because something was wrong. I had just rolled him farther on his side when my husband came in and picked him up. We took him to the living room while I dialed 911 so we could get an ambulance to get him to the hospital and hopefully start whatever treatments or IV's he needed. 

Now, if anyone knows me, they would tell you that I'm over emotional, too sensitive, and a lot of people would also say over dramatic. I wish I was over dramatic about yesterday though. 

I dialed 911, but told my husband that he would have to talk to them because I was crying and they probably wouldn't be able to understand me.

When the ambulance got there, I knew I needed to go with him because I wouldn't be able to speak loud enough for my in-laws to hear me about what was going on and why we needed them to watch the youngest two kids.

When I got in the ambulance with my son, I honestly thought I would cry constantly the whole way, because I just had a baby so my hormones weren't back to normal thanks to nursing. When the EMT's started asking me about his health history and his date of birthday, I somehow pulled myself together and didn't start crying again until we got to the ER.

I thought the flood gates would probably open up and they'd have to wait until my husband for there to know much more than I had already told the EMT's. I was wrong. I did know though, that I needed to let my family (that lives 2000+ miles away from me) what was going on. I texted them when I had something to tell them, but also felt like I needed friends to know too, because I'm a people person and I'm weird.

We didn't know much for awhile and I told my family what the Drs told me, but to my friends and rest of my family on Facebook, I kept things pretty low key. I just put a picture of my son, after he was sedated, on Facebook saying I would be MIA for most of the weekend.

What I left out (and even had my sister leave out when she put a comment on there to kind of let people know a bit more) was that my son had had at least one seizure and more had come and gone just since arriving at the ER. I also left out that his neurologist was out of town, so the little guy got to ride in a helicopter to a children's hospital to do 5 more tests on him, and my husband and I had to drive there. 

The tears came and my husband really didn't know what to say to help me stop crying, but I told him it was getting annoying hearing the same thing over and over again about something I already knew. 

 

We knew he was going to one of the best children's hospitals and being taken by an amazing pilot (they said he has over 5000 combat flying hours) and he would be alright. What I didn't expect though was that as we were leaving to go get stuff from home before heading up, that I would somehow collect myself again and not cry until after we got there! 

He was still sedated and getting an EEG when we walked in. And they even woke him up for the last part of it. 

Since he's autistic and a mamas boy, I knew he'd do a lot better if he knew I was there and with his daddy. What I didn't know was that the bed they had him in would support me too! 

The bars were up so that he could be moved to a different floor (instead of the ER at the children's hospital), and I didn't cry again until I had to let one of my friends know I wasn't at the first hospital anymore. At least our view wasn't too bad last night though. 

Good news though, he's doing much better today and should be able to go home tomorrow with only a few new meds. 

He's been acting and talking like himself and as soon as he finishes up this bag of IV fluids, they're going to take the thing out and he'll finally be able to bend his left arm. It's been making him mad since they put it on.