Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Avoidance and denial

Last week I took a picture with even intention of using it for this blog. I'll even finally post it. 
 That night I was thinking, "I need to work out." So I did. I had lots of reasons why I was doing it that night, a lot more than usual. Mostly my back. The upper half of my back is numb and has been that way for about a year now. Bad part, and why it was pushing me to work out that night, is that now all of the upper half of my back feels numb. 


I also had a baby (7 weeks ago at the time that picture was taken) and was told by my doctor that I didn't have any restrictions. Now that really should be put a bit differently, or at least I should know better. I have been feeling fat and out of shape, so I decided to do some light jogging in place in the safety of my living room. Laugh all you want about jogging in place at home, but it works. I did really well! I lasted half way through my work out playlist and decided to stop while I was ahead. I'm guessing it jogged for about 20 minutes with hardly any discomfort to anything (both my knees are bad by the way and swollen). Since that night though I've only done some light weight lifting and some leg work at home. 


Here's where things get good. Last night my husband basically kicked me out of the house to go to the gym and work off my cabin fever and the stresses of being a stay at he mom with 3 small children. He knows that after I work out I really do feel and act like a new person, also the woman he married, and not a stressed out quick tempered Irish girl. And I also remember back when I was 17 and told that I couldn't do anymore high impact sports (running, basketball, volleyball, eft) with MS. So what. I didn't really listen then or in college. What was so wrong about doing it now? I just had a baby that's what's wrong. Although it had been 2 months since I had my baby my MS and body were very quick to tell me no. 


When I got to the gym I was feeling pretty good and was going to just do my regular thing while there of starting on the treadmill for a quick warm up,then onto the machines and free weights and finish with a stationary bike for my cardio/cool down. HA! I got on the treadmill feeling a little chubby/impatient and remembering how well I did with jogging at home. So instead of a brisk walk at 3.5, I thought I'd bump it up to 4.0. I forgot to stop at 4 and went to 4.5 and ended up jogging a little faster than what I thought I was doing at home. About a minute later my left leg started feeling a bit strange. I thought I'd just push through it. (Here's the good part) At 1 minute 47 seconds my left leg went numb. It only took about one minute and thirty seconds for my MS and body to bring me back to reality. 


I kept my warm up to just 5 minutes (mostly because I didn't want to end up being one of the fail videos that my husband watches) and then went on to work on arms and back. 
 As my work out went on I kept thinking about if I should tell my neurologist about this or not. I opted for not because it would end up costing me more for the physical therapy and steroids that would just put more weight on me.


 Thankfully, the feeling in my leg slowly started to come back during my cool down, but instead of doing that on a bike, I decided to use an arc climber. I was doing great for the fist 5 minutes. Then I started to slow down and things started getting a little fuzzy. Then I started remembering an article about a runner with MS that would run to her coach and collapse after she finished and why I usually use the bike. I grabbed the arm supports and prayed I wasn't going to pass out. I didn't. I slowly got down and casually walked to the front desk and asked for a coin to use the massage chair. After that I used the hydro massage bed and felt much better. 


Then I had the nerve to drive home. That's when I found out that not all the numbness was gone, it just decided to take up camp in my left arm. Yay....